Waterfalls

Caring about someone and being able to protect them from their own choices are two very different things. Paul's gentle warning in this song, urging someone he loves not to chase dangerous things, comes from that painful gap. He can see what she cannot, or will not, see about the direction she is heading. 

Having the courage to speak a concern out loud is a risk because the words may not land well. Many of us fall into one of two traps: we either say nothing to preserve harmony and then quietly resent the consequences, or we repeat our warnings so insistently that we become the problem rather than the helpful presence we intended to be.

Acceptance of another person's autonomy is one of the hardest parts of loving someone: understanding that you cannot make their choices for them, no matter how clearly you can see the risk. Paul's song expresses this care and concern in a healthy way. It is offered, but not demanded. 

Sometimes the truest form of love is to stop trying to control the outcome and simply trust that our words have landed, even if they do not produce immediate change. Paul sang his concern into a song as a gift to all of us who need to hear that message. 

Every person you love is writing their own story (or should be). You can offer your best wisdom, but attempting to control another’s life destroys intimacy. Say what you see, with love. Then trust the process.

Today, I will express one genuine concern to someone I care about clearly and with kindness, and then release my attachment to controlling how they respond.

Where have you been either staying silent out of fear or repeating yourself past the point of usefulness? What would it mean to say what you see once, with love, and then truly let it go?